拒绝功利主义爱情

Quite successful film in the genre of Rom Com. Sophie Marceau’s Valentine was a very, very relatable and likeable character. Though set in late 80s, the problem encountered by Valentine and Ned is still very relevant in today’s love discussions, which is how to balance love and work. Valentine had a busy schedule of part-time job and exam prep, but she was very charming because of the passion she had for her educational career. Even though she often felt uncertain about her exams, she never doubted her choice of becoming a teacher and she had the quality of integrity which is overlooked by a lot of educators in modern days. With that being said, her boyfriend Ned seemed to be a bit useless, doing nothing but staring at Valentine with a pair of pretty eyes. Their problem was not resolved with the end of Valentine’s paper exams. Rather, it was intensified. When Ned accused her of only caring for her exams, she responded by saying that Ned did not call her and initiate communication precisely because he did not care about her exams. For her, love means full acceptance, and caring about her would include caring about her exams, because her career was indeed an indispensable part of her. A similar line of argument can be constructed for Ned: if love means full acceptance, accepting Ned would also mean to accept that he had an ex-wife and female bandmates. Ultimately, we can be attracted to people because of one or more qualities they have. But if a long-term, serious relationship is considered, considerations seem to become utilitarian in the sense of a cost - benefit analysis where you have to decide if you want to tolerate certain aspects of that person for the qualities that attract you to them. Interpreting the film from this sense, the unrealistic and seemingly rush ending seems to be hopeful and creative as they reject utilitarian love and the whole calculation system. Valentine declared almost in a feminist undertone that if he loves her he needs to accept everything, but the ending is the couple reuniting and communicating with no words but passionate body language. They abandoned the system of calculation and perhaps thought that love will figure its way out by itself. It is uncertain how long the relationship will last since the problem was not actually resolved, but the rejection of weighing pros and cons in a relationship seems to offer a new direction for struggling couples. 这是一部在爱情片类型中相当成功的电影。苏菲·玛索饰演的Valentine是一个非常、非常引人共鸣和喜欢的角色。尽管故事背景设定在80年代末，Valentine与Ned所面对的问题在今天的爱情话题中依然非常现实，那就是如何在爱情与事业之间取得平衡。 Valentine一边打工、一边准备考试，行程紧张，但她身上因为对教育事业的热情而散发出迷人的光芒。尽管她经常对自己的考试感到不确定，她从未怀疑过自己要成为一名教师的选择，她所展现出的那种正直感，也是当今许多教育者所忽视的重要品质。 话虽如此，她的男友Ned显得有些无所事事，除了用一双漂亮的眼睛盯着Valentine看，似乎没有别的表现。两人的问题并没有随着Valentine考试的结束而解决，反而变得更加激烈。当Ned指责她只关心考试时，她反驳说，正是因为Ned不关心她的考试，才没有主动联系她。在Valentine看来，爱意味着完全的接纳——真正关心她，就应当连她的考试也关心，因为事业本就是她不可分割的一部分。 同样的逻辑也适用于Ned：如果爱是完全接纳，那么接纳Ned也应当包括接纳他的前妻和那些女性乐队成员。我们往往会因为某些吸引人的特质而被某个人吸引，但一旦要考虑长久而严肃的关系时，思考就不可避免地变得功利，进入一种“成本-收益”分析：你是否愿意为了一个或一些品质去容忍对方的缺点，爱屋及乌？ 从这个角度解读这部电影，那个看似草率又不现实的结局，反而显得充满希望与创造力：他们拒绝了功利的爱情模式和随之而来的一整套计算系统。Valentine几乎带着一种女性主义的语气宣称：“如果你爱我，就必须接受我的全部。”而最终的结局，是两人重逢，以热烈的身体语言交流，而非言语。这种非理性的选择仿佛在说，爱情终究会自己找到出路。 这段感情究竟能持续多久，我们不得而知，因为他们之间的问题其实并没有被真正解决。但对那些在感情中苦苦挣扎的人来说，这种对“利弊权衡”模式的拒绝，或许提供了一个新的方向。